I Will Not
by IAspireToSleep
Summary: We all know and love the Haikyu universe. And we all know that if given the chance, we would most definitely wreck (playful) havoc upon the volleyball teams. Come and read, dear Reader, of the drama you have caused, much to the chagrin or amusement of the Karasuno volleyball team.
1. Chapter 1

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Um, should I put school shaming? I feel I should put school shaming here.

Statement of apology: I will not bring a fully loaded Bedazzler to school and Bedazzle the volleyball team's uniforms "to make them look like sparkly fairies that leave glitter in their dust" before a match against Nekoma High School.

My actions today have shamed the whole of Karasuno and I will formally apologize to the entire school as well as Nekoma's volleyball team.

I do not deeply regret my actions, but will write that I do so I can get out of detention.

I deeply regret my actions.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei


	2. Chapter 2

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Harassment

Statement of Apology: I will not follow Hinata Shoyo around while holding a marshmallow on a stick and claim that I am making s'mores. It was rude of me to claim that by following Hinata, I will be able to roast my marshmallow because he is the sun.

I will also not run and hide from faculty members when they try to take my marshmallow from me. It took valuable learning time from my fellow students and was a nuisance to my teachers. And when asked about my actions, I will not attempt to blame Hinata for burning my marshmallow. I will not blame Hinata for burning my marshmallow because it is obvious to everyone that I was currently eating the said marshmallow at the time.

Also, Takeda-sensei said I should not blame other people for my actions. I will apologize to Hinata tomorrow and to my classmates who had to suffer through my antics.

I will not do this again.

My marshmallow was totally burnt.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei


	3. Chapter 3

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Harassment

Statement of apology: I will not use my position as the boys' volleyball team's scout to sneak into Nekoma's gym while Nekoma's team is out greeting Karasuno's volleyball team and release the cats I've lured onto the gym floor. I will not do this and sneak back to join the teams before they come into the gym. I will also not fake innocence when the teams find the cats spread through the gym and pouncing on volleyballs.

'Well, this sure is a CAT-asthrophe', is not the appropriate response when I get caught. I will no longer make puns while on any other school's grounds.

I will formally apologize to Nekoma's volleyball team and Nekoma's advisory board. My actions embarrassed Karasuno and the volleyball team. I will repay Nekoma for the damage the feral cats caused and will do menial tasks around both schools until both advisory boards agree I've done my time.

I will not use any more cats in my schemes. They bite.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei


	4. Chapter 4

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Damage to personal property

Description and statement of apology: I will not steal Tsukishima Kei's glasses and run off with them to 'destroy' them. I will not lock myself in the arts and crafts room with Tsukki's glasses and attach cardboard dinosaurs to the rims. I will not put those shiny blinking lights – y'know, the ones that have their own batteries? And kind of look like magnets? Yeah, those – on the dinosaur glasses.

I _was_ good this time and gave them back. On my own. I am not to shove said glasses on Tsukki's face and scream that 'it's time to disco like the dinos'. I will not begin to spasm – which is apparently what my dancing looks like to my uneducated peers – and periodically yell 'holla back, now'.

This was inappropriate and I destroyed a fellow classmate's personal property. I also called him Tsukki. Which is apparently unacceptable for me to do? So I have to apologize for that too, I guess. And I have to pay for the replacement glasses.

Whatever. Tsukki, er...Tsukishima looked secretly happy.

I still have extra blinky lights.

The disco lives on.

 **Student Signature:** Reader's Name

 **Advisor's Signature:** Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Hey guys! Thanks for reading my sad little drabbles . Just wanted to say hi, and thanks. Also, if you have any ideas or whatever, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me a message.

I'd love to hear from you, but it's totally up to you.

I'm going to awkwardly leave now.

Bye.


	5. Chapter 5

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Harassment of other teams

Description and statement of apology: I will not spend my free time at home making cute little crow stuffed animals that resemble members of the volleyball team. Oh. What? Okay…Takeda-sensei just informed me that I can, but it would be really creepy. That last part was implied. Anyway. I will not bring the multitude of cute stuffed crows to a match against Aoba Jousai in a large garbage bag. When our team scores a butt load of points – or one point. Same diff- I will not pull out the bag of stuffed crows and pelt the players of Aoba Jousai with the fluffy stuffed animals and scream at them to 'get rekt.'

That was not the proper response a second year should have. A mature second year should settle for an approving nod at her players. Not chuck stuffed animals at the other team and embarrass her school.

Though in all honesty, I think the only people who were actually mad were Seijoh's coach and maybe the refs. Tanaka and Noya made things worse, if anything.

So I will apologize to Aoba Jousai's volleyball team and the referees. And at the next all-school assembly, according to Takeda-sensei. Wow, I'm gonna have a lot of announcements at the school assembly.

Cool.

Takeda-sensei has informed me that that was not the correct response.

 **Student Signature:** Reader's Name

 **Advisor's Signature:** Takeda-Sensei


	6. Chapter 6

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Confusion? Is that okay to put? Confusion? Whatever.

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: When the Karasuno volleyball team and Nekoma volleyball team get together for volleyball training, I will not use my obscure knowledge of American TV shows to deflect questions. More accurately, I will not respond to any questions Daichi (or anyone else) has with quotes from 'The Tick'.

Not only did I confuse everyone with my off-topic comments, but when Daichi scolds me for not making any sense, I will not continue to quote the Tick by saying "Who can deny the snazzy of that? Are you denying the snazzy of that?"

This was unacceptable behavior. I will no longer be allowed to quote 'The Tick' even if he is 'my one true role model'. If I quote the Tick, I will be put in detention for a week.

I didn't actually do anything to embarrass Karasuno this time. Though I did force Hinata watch the Tick for a few hours until Asahi found us.

I will have to apologize for that, I guess.

And, as the Tick would say, 'And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables.'

Amen.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei

 **AN:** Hi again *awkward wave*

Thanks for reading these… uh… _special_ drabbles. I don't actually know what I'm doing, so I should probably stop now.

I'll write more chapters (if they can even be called that) later.

I'd like to know what you guys think, if you have any opinions or whatever. Okay, I'm done.

*ahem* SPOON!


	7. Chapter 7

(Name) skipped down Karasuno's main hallway, failing to hide a mischievous grin. As she slipped between groups of students who loitered the hall, she couldn't help giggling as her eyes locked onto her target, Tadashi Yamaguchi.

He gave (Name) a wary smile. After all of her shenanigans involving other members of the volleyball team, she was obviously behind the recent pranks that were being played on him.

'Yams!' (Name) came to a stop in front of the tall first year and grinned up at him.

'H-hey, (Name).' Yamaguchi smiled. (Name) was a little difficult at times, but overall she was friendly. Her… tricks were harmless, really; they made practices a lot more interesting.

'I'll see you at practice. Don't be late!' (Name) waved and disappeared into the crowd of students who were fleeing the classrooms towards the freedom of the afternoon.

(Name) was well aware that her family's very generous donations to Karasuno kept her from expulsion, so despite all the trouble she got into, the worst punishments she received were minor suspensions and to her horror, lots of extra homework.

But sometimes, the extra homework was totally worth it. Times like this.

Entering the gym, (Name) joined Kiyoko near the whiteboard and waited. It wouldn't be long now.

A sharp yelp was heard from the boy's locker room. (Name) grinned, ignoring the warning glance Sugawara shot her.

'(NAAAAAAAME)!'

Coach Ukai, who had just entered the gym sighed and wearily motioned towards the door.

'I know, I know.' (Name) waved her hands in dismissal. 'I'll escort myself.'

She slipped out of the gym with a satisfied grin as Tsukishima and a flustered Yamaguchi entered.

'What was that about?' Daichi questioned

Yamaguchi silently held out his hands, a large yam in each.

'I don't know how she does it.' He whispered quietly.

* * *

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Harassment of teammate and misuse of vegetables

Description and statement of apology: I will not terrorize Yamaguchi Tadashi with an assortment of yams. I will not use my investigative skills to find Yamaguchi's locker combinations and fill up his lockers with yams. I will not terrorize Yamaguchi by randomly placing yams in his school supplies and surprising him by placing yams in obscure places and at obscure times.

This was disconcerting to Yamaguchi and a blatant misuse of food.

I should not have the time between classes to move around parts of the school and place yams in places Yamaguchi would find them.

I am a terror.

Men tremble before me.

I am the lord of the yams.

 **Student Signature:** Reader's Name

 **Advisor's Signature:** Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** So sorry for the wait, guys. I've just been, well... lazy. Dunno. Anyway, thanks for reading.

This was longer than usual; an apology or something like that.

Whatever.

I'm tired, so I'm gonna take a nap. Thank you so much for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Misuse of Pavlov's Classical Conditioning

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not use Pavlov's Conditioning on Ryuunosuke Tanaka to 'see what would happen'. 'Just in case' is also not a reason to manipulate Tanaka. I will not use any of my classmates to help me 'test the almighty Google-senpai and its acolytes'. Before moving on, Takeda-sensei told me that I am no longer to refer to Pavlov, Einstein, Newton, or any of the other guys we study in class as Google-senpai's acolytes.

It is rude.

Anyway, I will not test Pavlov's Conditioning on Tanaka. I will not condition him to high-five me every time he gets excited about something (which is a lot. Seriously.). I should not have continued the test for weeks, even after he already showed signs that proved Pavlov to be legit.

This should not have continued, especially since the volleyball team had a game today. I will not stand next to Tanaka while talking to Nekoma's ace, Yamamoto and dodge when Tanaka whips his hand around for a high-five.

I should not have laughed when Tanaka's hand hit Yamamoto's face. It was inappropriate.

I will apologize to Yamamoto and the Karasuno volleyball team for messing with the laws of nature. Pavlov was correct. I will not do this again. I will also apologize to Tanaka. I'll buy him some food, so we'll be cool.

That is all.

One day, Pavlov, I will return and prove you wrong.

One day.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei


	9. Chapter 9

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Unauthorized use of school equipment and harassment of teammates

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not 'borrow' the spare janitor keys to the school to sneak in the building early. I will not transport the teacher's desks from the school classrooms into the gym before early morning volleyball practice. I will not arrange the desks so that they form a 'super fort of victory' and hide inside with an artillery of volleyballs. I will not wait until the team gets to the gym and then pelt them with volleyballs when they try to 'enter my domain'.

I will not try to claim Kageyama's title of 'King of the Court' because I managed to hit him with one of my volleyballs, and 'ended his reign of terror'.

My shenanigans not only produced some bruises, but also caused classes to be delayed because the teachers were lacking their desks. I should be very, very ashamed. I will apologize to the school at the next assembly and will be given extra homework for, like, a month. I will also be required to apologize to my teammates and make this up to them.

Takeda-sensei says that it is important that I recognize that I am not the ruler of the gym, nor do I have any control over school property and equipment.

Blasphemy.

Student Signature:  THE KING OF THE COURT

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei


	10. Chapter 10

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Disrespect for school assemblies

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: It finally happened. There was a school assembly. Ahem. I will not prepare a well-rehearsed speech and present it to the teachers for approval than throw it out when no one is looking. Once taking my place in front of the podium, I will not completely forfeit any chance of gaining my peers respect by taking my apology and altering it into a rap. I will not hijack the school's sound system to create 'a hip groove'. I will not start awkwardly breakdancing while reciting my wrongdoings in a rhyme. I will not end my disrespectful presentation screaming 'Shizzle shizzle out' and dramatically drop the mic onto the floor.

I created pandemonium and destroyed any sense of student responsibility. I also damaged my peers' ears by dropping the mic which created very loud feedback. And for trying to rap.

I will write written apologies to the entire school by hand and have them approved by Takeda-sensei. I am no longer allowed near any sound system and have been suspended for a week.

During my suspension I will reflect on my actions while eating ice cream and watching Netflix.

Or not. Takeda-sensei just shot me a look.

Anyway, I am a shame to the school and need to recheck my priorities and focus on becoming a better student and a respectable role model.

I'll be the next Kim Kardashian.

That'll show them.

Student Signature: (Reader's Name)

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Guys, guys! Double digits!

I keep on talking about how Reader will be forced to recite her sins at the school assembly, and I figured that this would be the time to write it.

I also want to thank those of you who have commented. It means so much to me to hear your thoughts. Your encouraging words inspire me to write more chapters.

I love you all, beautiful Readers. Whether you have commented or not, it doesn't matter. You are all spectacular.

Stay cool guys.

Shizzle shizzle out

*mic drop*


	11. Chapter 11

The sound of balls bouncing off the floor mingled with the grunts and cries of the volleyball players. Fukurodani High School was hosting an all-day volleyball training with Nekoma, Date Tech, and Karasuno.

The players had been at it for hours already, practicing their techniques with each other before the matches began. Coaches, managers and players alike were treating this opportunity like the treasure it was. It was a very serious matter.

Unfortunately for them, (Name) had a better idea.

'Here we are, on our way to observe nature's finest species, the male 'Highschoolus Volleplayus'.' (Name) whispered into her camcorder.

When Coach Ukai had announced that the team would be accepting Fukurodani's invitation, (Name) had recognized it as the perfect time to test out her new observational skills. After all, what was a scout who couldn't tell if a player was good or not? And since this technically _was_ for the team, so it's not like she could get in too much trouble. Right?

(Name) had separated herself from the rest of the team when they had arrived at the gym. Sneaking away under the guise of 'Gotta pee, see ya' was an elementary tactic, but Suga had been too busy separating Kageyama and Hinata to call (Name's) ruse.

It wasn't often Suga was distracted enough for (Name) to get away with the basics. It seems Kageyama and Hinata could be used for future… experiments. Excellent. (Name) would have to update her list of Suga's weaknesses.

Er, anyway.

Sitting in the bushes wasn't (Name's) ideal hiding place, but climbing up the flag pole and perching on top wasn't exactly inconspicuous. So she waited.

'It's time.' (Name) whispered reverently into the camcorder's speaker. She fought her way out of the bushes and stayed to the shadows. Like a ninja. With bells strapped on her feet. Whatever. No one was around anyway.

Slipping into the gym unnoticed, (Name) made her way behind one of the bleachers. The coaches were calling the players to attention. The matches were about to start.

'Here we see the grown 'Volleplayus' directing the 'Highschoolus Volleplayus' to separate into teams. Unlike other species, when 'Highschoolus Volleplayus' mature, their scientific name changes. The correct term for the mature 'Highschoolus Volleplayus' is 'Oldicus Volleplayus'.'

(Name) twisted her camcorder around to show the nearest court. Nekoma and Date Tech had been paired together for the first match.

'Looking closer, the 'Highschoolus Volleplayus' actually look a bit different, which is, more often than not, the factor that groups them into teams. This team,' (Name) swiveled her camcorder towards Nekoma's side of the court, 'is what we can call 'Felinicus Volleplayus'. They almost remind one of actual felines. Amazing.'

(Name) panned the camcorder along the sidelines towards Dateko. 'The "Felinicus Volleplayus" follow the orders of the "High Felinicus Volleyplayus'" and his second in command,' she noted as her lens passed Nekoma's coaches. 'And these are the…bears? Sure. 'Ironium Bearicus Volleplayus.' That works. They are taaaall.' (Name's) camera tilted up as she tried to show the height of Dateko's players.

 _FWEEEET_

The referee's whistle blew and Dateko managed to take control of the ball.

'Watch carefully,' (Name) instructed to her invisible audience. 'The "Ironium Bearicus Volleplayus" do have the height advantage, but the "Felinicus Volleplayus" are well known for their flexibility.

The match was fierce. (Name) did try to narrate for a while, but then found some ants attempting to lug an abnormally large M&M into a tiny hole in the wall. Fascinating stuff. (Name) was poking at the mini swarm when a loud clanging noise startled her.

A volleyball rolled toward her. Apparently one of Dateko's blocks bounced off one of the Nekoma player's hands and soared into the bleachers.

Sensing that her time was near, (Name) shifted her weight, preparing to bolt. A shadow fell over her.

'Ehh? (Name)-san? What are you doing back here?' Lev blinked at her in surprise.

'RAAAAHHHH!' With a battle cry, (Name) leapt past him. Or tried to. After squatting in the same position for so long, (Name) found her legs to be asleep.

With a graceful 'umph', (Name) flopped on her belly. Clutching her camcorder, she shoved it in Lev's face.

'The "Silvicus Felinicus" is tall. A cinnamon bun. Too good, too pure for this world.' (Name) groaned. After all, the documentary must go on. That _was_ the saying. Probably.

'Hey, Daichi, found her!' Kuroo had come up behind Lev and called over to Daichi; the latter began to storm over to the bleachers. (Name) squinted accusingly at Kuroo.

'Charred cinnamon roll. Too stale, too burned for this world.' (Name) managed to get out before Daichi reached her and started berating her.

Tuning out Daichi's rant, (Name) continued to silently film.

'—and you are _grounded._ Forever. Do you hear me?' Daichi paused to observe (Name). 'Forever. Even after you die. Forever.' Daichi repeated the word, trying to get his meaning across.

(Name) raised her head to meet Daichi's eyes. 'Until I die?'

Daichi gave a firm nod.

(Name) blinked. 'Then I guess I really will be _grounded._

The last few moments of (Name's) documentary were filled with her screams as Daichi began chasing her around the gym.

* * *

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Harassment, maybe? I don't think there's actually a category for this…

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not bring a camcorder to any school's volleyball training day and sneak off. I will not hide behind the bleachers and film the practice with said camcorder. I will not pretend I am Dora the Explorer, or whatever, and my teammates and the other volleyball players are wild animals. I will not try to escape when I get caught, nor will I describe Kuroo Tetsuruo and Haiba Lev as 'cinnamon rolls'. Blackened or pure. I will not break my promise to 'never make another pun on another school's grounds'. I did, but I will not do it again, or I will get in SO much trouble. I will not scream bloody murder when my camcorder and phone are confiscated from me.

I regret nothing, but must say I do in order to get off without getting a mark in my permanent record.

But seriously, I regret nothing. Dora the Explorer never let things like 'laws' and 'school' get in her way. And look at her. She was a princess at one point. Were there pegasi in that movie? Whatever.

Your laws will not confine me and my curiosity of the world of 'Highschoolus Volleplayus'.

I will return.

Takeda-sensei, please cue my 'Dramatic Exit Soundtrack' on my phone.

Takeda-sensei is refusing.

I should have seen that coming.

Student Signature: (Reader's Name)

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Grounded, ha. Eh, eh? Get it? Get it? Guys?

*crickets chirping*

Really? Grounded? In the grave, which is in the ground? No?

*crickets start to leave*

Okay. No. Gotcha.

I'm gonna just...stop... now.


	12. Chapter 12

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Overexcitement.

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not become overexcited because of Halloween and take it out on the substitute teacher. I will not wear a ghost costume under my school uniform. I will not go into my math class and give the (very old) substitute teacher a heart attack. More specifically, when a fellow classmate mentions a ghost story involving the school, I will not jump out of my seat and screech, "It's my time to shine!" and rip off my uniform to reveal my costume. I will not do this then run past the substitute, who apparently hadn't heard me yelp, and shout 'BOO!' before running out of the classroom.

I will not hide in a locker until the ambulances arrive. I will not try to distract the paramedics from getting to their destination (I totally thought they were fake).

It turns out that the sub was old. And her heart was bad. And I kind of caused her to go into cardiac arrest with my stunt.

So I'm not doing that again.

I _was_ wearing clothes underneath my costume, thank you. So that was good.

Ah, Takeda-sensei just informed me that the sub isn't going to sue. Also good. Oh? It seems that I will be… crud. I will be assigned extra homework in all my classes until the principal is happy.

Which is never. I'm going to die here.

So anyway, October is off to a great start.

You could almost say it will be a 'sBOOky' month.

Ha ha.

Ha.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** SOOOOOO sorry about the lapse between updates. Thank you Guest who reviewed my story, you prompted me to actually sit down and write. Hopefully next time you do laugh. I will have done my job then. (oDo)/

I will update later. The time period won't be as long. I promise.

And the ghost costume was just a sheet with holes cut in for the eyes. Reader did have to pull the top of the costume over her head when she revealed it. It wasn't just like she wore the sheet over her head the entire day. That would be kinda funny, actually.

And the old substitute had a heart attack because she was old and surprised.

I felt I should clarify.  
Okay, buh-bye.


	13. Chapter 13

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Hacking

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not break past the school's firewalls and tamper with the technology stuff. I don't actually know all of the terms, I just looked up the instructions on YouTube.

God bless YouTube.

I will not fiddle with the internet connections and settings of the school's mainframe so that whenever a teacher tries to reach the Google, they will instead be met with a video of singing kitties. Which I also found on YouTube. Somehow.

Getting back on track, I will not hack or look up instructional videos on YouTube to harass the teachers and my fellow peers. I took valuable learning time away from my classmates and the teachers had to call in one of the Ghostbusters to fix the computer system. The guy totally looked like that one dude from Ghostbusters, but he didn't seem too happy when I tried to vacuum him up with the janitor's cleaning supplies.

Come to think of it, that's probably another reason why I'm in detention. Huh.

*cue the Ghostbuster music on YouTube (obviously)*

Who ya gonna call?

My lawyers!

But seriously. Help.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** See? I told you it wouldn't be too long of a wait. Also, my mom wanted me to update. Apparently she likes this stuff too.

She's a little upset that I wouldn't let her read this chapter before putting it on the site.

I may or may not be grounded.

R.I.P. me


	14. Chapter 14

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Harassing teammate

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not bring my phone to a match against Seijoh with intent to play music. I will not follow Suga around, phone at ready, and play the 'My mama don't like you, and she likes everyone' verse from Love Yourself whenever Suga passes Oikawa. I will not fake innocence in order to remain in the gym.

When our team somehow scores with Suga's help, I will not cue up the recorded verse on my phone and blast it through the gym's loudspeakers. This was an inappropriate use of the gym and equipment. I embarrassed my school and my team.

I will no longer be allowed to bring my phone to matches. I will be forced to clean the gym for two weeks as penance for my sins.

I will also not whistle the tune from 'Love Yourself' whenever I happen to see Oikawa. Or Suga, who is a bit exasperated with me at the moment.

Which is a shame, since Suga-mama likes everyone.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** So sorry for getting off track in the last few chapters. Kinda went brain dead.

I blame trig.

Anyway, thank you cggpuppy for calling me out on that. It was very much appreciated.

But oh, I feel so ashamed. My deepest apologies. So I hope this chapter is much better and you guys love it.

This is for you cggpuppy.


	15. Chapter 15

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Student: (Reader's Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Taking advantage of a teammate

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not offer to 'help' Asahi Azumane tie his hair back before a game with Dateko. I will not take advantage of the trust Asahi placed in me to 'beautify' him. I will not be 'helpful' and tie up Asahi's hair; I will not attach clip-on hair strands when Asahi is occupied. I will not take advantage of the distraction (whatever it may be) to dump _sprinkle_ glitter on his head. Nor will I (tastefully) put flower clips throughout his hair.

I will not do this then let him go out on court.

This would not be appropriate.

When Suga – that whistleblower – alerts Asahi to his new hair-do, I will not panic – because Coach Ukai looks maaaad. I will not try to rid myself of the evidence I hold in my hands by throwing the can of glitter behind me.

To be fair, I had no idea that Takeda sensei was behind me. And how was I supposed to know that the cap of the glitter was loose?

I smell a conspiracy.

In any case, Takeda-sensei was a man-shaped body of sparkly light. It was very beautiful. I think I may have cried.

Shine bright like a diamond, Takeda-sensei. Shine bright.

Student Signature: Reader's Name

Advisor's Signature: Coach Ukai

* * *

 **AN:** Credit for the prompt goes to cggpuppy. Many thanks!


	16. Chapter 16

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Inappropriate use of my talents

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not use my scouting agent skills to observe my teammates in their natural habitat. I will not follow them home and make note of where they keep the spare keys to the said homes. I will not then store the information away to be used for nefarious deeds. Namely, I will not sneak into their homes and eat their food when my house runs out of delicious things to eat. I will not eat my teammates food and claim it was for the good of the team.

This was an inappropriate use of my sneak habits and interfered with my team's personal life. When being reprimanded, it is not appropriate to defend myself by suggesting that my teammates "do not have a personal life". It was rude and probably offensive.

Upon being reprimanded for interrupting the original reprimand, I will not be allowed to call Coach Ukai to bail me out of detention. Coach Ukai does not count as a family member.

I will apologize to my teammates and restore all of the food items I have taken from them.

I have shamed myself with these actions.

Blah blah blah other apologetic terms I must write blah blah.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei


	17. Chapter 17

Karasuno High School Referral Form

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Snark

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not write 'blah blah blah' on my referral forms because it is rude.

I get, like, two weeks of detention now. Yay.

Takeda sensei has informed me that any more sarcasm on my referral form will get me suspended. I'm going to stop now. Forever.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** The end. No, I'm kidding, I'll write more chapters.

Thanks for the reviews, they were very encouraging!

Okay, I'll keep writing, see you soooon!


	18. Chapter 18

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Overreacting to American Holidays

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not come to school dressed as an American pilgrim instead of wearing my school uniform. I will not take my role as a pilgrim seriously by speaking strangely and claiming to be almost 400 years old or argue with the teachers by saying "thou shall not keep me from mine duties". I will not wander off in the middle of mathematics claiming that the cows need tending to. I will not wander over to the running track and scream in agony because "the fields have been ravaged". I will not weep during lunch because 'they young'uns are eating e'rything in sight' or 'we shall starve during the winter months'. This was inappropriate.

When the volleyball team loads up onto the bus to go to Nekoma for practice matches, I will not continue with my 'ridiculous charade'. I will not entertain my teammates with stories of the Mayflower and complain about how "the colony's (Karasuno's) lands are quite pitiful". I will not poke at Noya's hair and ask what witchcraft he dabbled in.

Once at Nekoma, I will not exit the ugly yellow ship and mutter about the "newfangled contraptions". That was not very pilgrim-like. When the team enters the gym I will not point and scream "the Indians!" and hide behind Asahi.

I will not follow Kenma until he becomes uncomfortable and whisper "witchcraft" and then run when Daichi comes to collect me. When Coach Ukai suggests I go take a breather outside, I will not call him 'Chief Pilgrim' as that was probably not historically correct.

When I feel it is time and I have collected my thoughts, I will not burst into the gym holding turkey carcasses and yell "the feast will take place!" This was also inappropriate.

I have shamed my family, my school, and myself with my actions. I will no longer be allowed to be a pilgrim on Thanksgiving. I will apologize to my classmates, my teachers, my teammates, Nekoma's coaches and players – especially Kenma, and apologize to whoever/whatever I got the turkeys from. I was not a good pilgrim, student, 2nd year, or member of the volleyball team. I will make up for my wrongdoings and write a three thousand-word essay on why I did a bad thing.

On the plus side, the Wal-Mart turkeys I had shipped over for today made for an excellent feast. Maybe I'll give one to Nekoma's team. Turkey is delicious and a sign of peace and friendship, right? Yeah. Sounds good.

Anyway, I will not be allowed to be a pilgrim ever again.

Maybe next year I'll be Squanto.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Happy Thanksgiving guys! Thanks for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Disturbing practice

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not use my connections to the underworld – which happens to be full of pompoms and excited teenage girls – to 'disrupt' practice. I will not hire the legion of cheerleaders to go to a match against Fukurodani and sit quietly among the bleachers. Well, that is actually okay, maybe? No? No. Takeda-sensei says that I am not to hire people to sit in the stands. That comes off wrong. Anyway, I will not have the cheerleaders on hand for when Nishinoya Yuu uses his rolling thunder technique. Because I will not have hired the cheerleaders, I most _definitely_ will not have instructed them to do one of those fancy cheer routines whenever Noya does his stunts.

This was distracting and rather uncalled for (Not my words). My actions not only sidetracked the team, but they excited Bokuto who had to be calmed by Akaashi. That was not intended.

I will apologize to both teams, cut my ties to whoever supplied me with cheerleaders for hire, and apologize a lot to Akaashi in particular. That was a mistake. Also, I get homework from both classes and volleyball. Apparently if I 'have enough time to find, hire and instruct a group of cheerleaders, I can do my mathematics/ conduct in-depth analysis of Seijoh's new practice techniques – instructions especially from Coach Ukai.

 **This is** **cruel and unusual punishment**.

Since I am not actually bound to this contract until the Vice Principal files it away, I still have time. I _will_ stop contracting cheerleaders to help me with my duties of raising team morale, but I have a few hours.

I think I'll pay Coach Ukai a visit.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Yaay another chapter!

Hope you all enjoyed it :)!

Okay, shout out to that one follower who suggested I do one about Noya! I was trying to find the notification I got, but failed. Shout out to you, random follower! No, actually, if you read this please message me, I'd like to shout out in the right direction.

Love you all, your reviews motivate me and make me haaappy 3


	20. Chapter 20

(Name) bounced on her toes. Today was the day! Or maybe not, but it would still be a day! Peering around a corner, (Name) spotted him. He had no idea he was being watched. Perfect.

'Senpai?' A voice called out behind her.

Like the good senpai she was, (Name) tore her eyes away from HIM and turned toward her underclassman. Kageyama's forehead scrunched up as he tried to figure out why (Name) would be loitering behind a corner in the third-year hallway.

'What are you doing here?'

(Name) smiled and threw a glance over her shoulder before turning back to Kageyama. 'Nothing _special._ Just watching.'

Kageyama leaned over trying to find what had caught (Name's) attention. It was no secret that the poor fool who had caught her eye would soon find himself in some sort of trouble. There were third-years moving in and about the hallways since the last class had just gotten out, but none that seemed super interesting. Then again, what did he know about how (Name's) mind worked?

(Name) yelped and pulled Kageyama back by the collar. 'What are you doing?! He'll see us!'

She peered back out into the hallway. Okay, he didn't seem to have noticed. This is fine. It's fine. Looking back at Kageyama, (Name) scrutinized him. 'Why are you here anyway?'

'Oh,' Kageyama held up a hand holding a packet. 'Takeda-sensei wanted me to give this to Daichi before practice started.'

'Wouldn't it just easier to give it to him in the gym?'

Kageyama stammered 'I-I got it at lunch.'

'Then why wait so long?' (Name) grinned, fully aware that Kageyama had no idea she was teasing him.

'S-stupid Hinata wouldn't stop asking me what it was. As if I knew, dumba-' Kageyama's insult faltered when (Name) put a finger to his lips.

'Shh. This is a sacred place. None shall defy it with their blasphemous words' (Name) winked at a very bewildered Kageyama . A slammed locker brought her attention back to the hallway.

Whipping her head back, (Name) searched for HIM in the semi-crowded hallway. Erk, he's leaving! And without going to his locker? No!

Thinking quickly, (Name) turned back to Kageyama. 'Let's help each other!'

'Eh?'

'You need to give that to Daichi and I need him to open his locker!'

'You need Daichi to…. open his locker?'

'Yes! No! Not Daichi!' Flustered, (Name) could only point at her target. Kageyama's gaze followed her finger.

'Sugawara-san?' Kageyama's confusion tripled threefold.

'Yes!' (Name) exclaimed. 'You give him the packet-thingy to give to Daichi and…oh! Ask him for a pen! That'll work.'

'Is this going to backfire on me?' Kageyama gave (Name) a doubtful look.

'Probably.'

Kageyama looked between Suga's retreating back and the packet in his hand. Should he? No, (Name's) plan would probably end up getting him in trouble. If he got detention, he wouldn't be able to play volleyball!

'Kageyama.'

A hand was placed on Kageyama's shoulder. He looked down at (Name's) serious face.

'I'll give you money for some milk boxes.'

That was all he needed.

'Suga-san!'

* * *

'Huh, I wonder what it is.' Suga looked curiously at the packet Kageyama had handed him. Suga had just been leaving for the gym when Kageyama called out for him.

'Senpai, could you, um, bring a pen? For the, uh, papers?' Kageyama stumbled over his request. He had told Suga about the packet, his mission, blah blah blah without mentioning (Name) or her mysterious interest.

'Sure!' Suga smiled brightly. He headed back to his locker, talking over his shoulder. 'I was just going to bring my books with me to the gym, since I have to stop by Saito-sensei's room and I didn't want to be late for practice, but this works well too.'

Kageyama looked toward the corner (Name) hid behind. She gestured for him to keep up with Sugawara. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea…

'Um, senpai, if you have to talk to a teacher, then…'

Suga laughed, 'It's fine, it's fine. I had a question, but it can wait until tomorrow.' He unlocked his locker and started to open it.

'Wait!' Kageyama called out, but it was too late. Suga had swung the door open. Cringing, Kageyama waited for whatever (Name) had planted to explode out of the locker.

'Kageyama-kun? Are you all right?' Suga questioned.

Looking around, Kageyama saw that nothing had exploded or escaped from Suga's locker. Weird, did it not go off? It failed? Glancing behind him, Kageyama caught a glimpse of (Name's) triumphant smirk before she disappeared.

What?

Kageyama looked back toward Suga, who was holding a pen and completely undamaged.

'You didn't…get anything?' Kageyama was trying to figure out what had (or hadn't) happened, but he couldn't quite understand.

'Get something?' Suga repeated, looking confused. 'Are you feeling okay? Oh, are you sick?'

Kageyama shook his head. Suga stared at him a little longer then began to close the locker. Kageyama's mind spun. Maybe (Name's) prank had been for him? Take a few years off his life?

'Oh, what's this?'

Kageyama's reverie was disrupted by Suga's question. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. To his horror, Suga was holding a bulky package.

'How did this get in there?' Suga began examining the package for clues as to its origin. 'I didn't see it earlier.'

'Senpai, no! (Name)!...' Kageyama's warning was cut off. He had revealed (Name's) involvement. Even if he did manage to get out of this unscathed, it was unlikely (Name) would give him the milk boxes. She didn't like snitches.

'(Name)?' Suga squinted at the package. 'That would explain the tag.'

'Huh?' Kageyama tried to recover his blunder. 'I-I didn't mean… I thought she was over…. there….'

Suga waved Kageyama's explanation away. 'It's kind of obvious.'

'It… is?'

'Yeah. Who else would write, "To Mommy" on it?'

Oh. Kageyama blinked. Okaaay? Suga smiled and began opening the package.

'But-'

'If I don't open it now she'll keep sending these packages until I do.' Suga explained. He tore off the wrapping and stared.

'What?' Kageyama looked over at the kit he was holding.

 _ **How to sew! Beginner's kit for kids 5-9 years of age!**_

The "kids 5-9 years of age" had been scribbled out, the word "Sugawara" in (Name's) distinct handwriting – which really should be described as scribbling- was squished in.

'I…don't even know where to begin.' Suga sighed.

Sensing his senpai's exasperation, Kageyama tried to be helpful and chimed in, 'At least it isn't a 2ft long yam this time.'

'Poor Yamaguchi.'

'…yeah.'

* * *

'(NAAAAME)!' Daichi roared.

Despite the danger, (Name) poked her head out from behind her hiding spot which was also known as Asahi.

'Yeees?' (Name) asked. 'What's the problem?'

'You.' Tsukishima's muffled reply came sharp and fast.

'Ouuch. That huuurts Tsukkiiii.' (Name) whined, throwing herself on the tall pile of scarves and sweaters she assumed to be Tsukishima.

It had been a few weeks since (Name) left her present in Sugawara's locker. Like the good team mother he was, Suga took the scarf kit home and made a scarf to get the ordeal over with. To his surprise, it was rather fun. So why make just one scarf? Why not make scarves for the whole team? And why just scarves? Sure the kit and supplies were for scarves, but thanks to the blessing of the gods™, well, YouTube, which is the same thing, Suga found out how to make many many _many_ more things from yarn (which he bought. The blessing of the gods™ does not provide yarn).

So now, thanks to TeamMom™, Karasuno's male volleyball team was appropriately prepared for the winter months. A little _too_ prepared.

The mound of clothing assumed to be Daichi stormed over to (Name).

'This cannot go on.' Daichi rumbled.

(Name) shivered. 'Scaaary Daichi!'

'Then fix it.'

'But he's so happy!' (Name) smiled and slowly began inching behind Asahi. Or Tsukishima. It was a little hard to tell.

The situation wouldn't be so bad if Suga wasn't determined to keep the team from any inkling of a cold. The layers Suga demanded everyone to put on was a daunting amount, but really, who's going to tell Suga to stop? He is TeamMom™. Going to another school for a practice match is exciting, but the sheer amount of scarves and whatever else was piled on each team member made them look like walking snowmen. Walking, jumping, blocking snowmen.

Needless to say, Sugawara must be stopped.

(Name) took a deep breath. 'I have to stop this?'

'Yes.' Kageyama growled. 'I can't punch stupid Hinata with these mittens.'

Daichi nodded 'By any means necessary.'

* * *

 **Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Breaking and entering; destruction to school property

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not use the window of an empty classroom as an exit outside. I will not stand on the ledge of the window and move to the classroom next to me's window. I will not kick in the window and jump in the room. I am not Jackie Chan. I will not steal Sugawara Koishi's bag from him and run out of the classroom. I will not steal his sewing kit and run away with it. I will not escape to the incinerator and burn the kit. There was metal and stuff which made horrible popping noises. I will not throw any unauthorized items into any incinerator ever.

My actions were dangerous and will not be 'tolerated EVER again do you hear me missy? Lookatmewheni'mtalkingtoyoustopwritingdownwhati'msaying'. I will pay Sugawara money to buy back the stuff he lost and _**not**_ give him fake money. That would be wrong. I will tell my family why they are buying a new incinerator. Unfortunately, instead of getting suspended, I will be taking three math classes and doing five hundred hours of community service.

On the upside, the team won't have to worry about getting more scarves anytime soon. According to Hinata, Suga has seen the error of his ways. We'll see how long that lasts.

Also, I will not agree to lend the volleyball team my services when they want something done. I am dangerous and should not be allowed out in society, apparently.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Kageyama snitching

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not be allowed to bring yams of any size into the school. I will not especially order super big yams to give to Yamaguchi. That goes against my promises on another referral.

I am filling out a referral to 'remind myself of my wrongdoings'. I will not be prosecuted because the yam has gone AWOL.

And by yam, I mean the food. Not Yamaguchi. I felt that I should specify.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Doooone! I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.

Shout out to cggpuppy for the awesome prompt! Hopefully this is acceptable to you.

Oh! I just realized, this is the **20th** chapter!

I love you all; have a magical day guys.


	21. Chapter 21

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Dealing

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not establish myself as Karasuno's dealer. But not just any kind of dealer. The meme kind. The meme dealer. I will not be that. I will not use pictures of the volleyball team members as the base for my memes. I will not deal the memes. I will not try expand my meme dealings into other schools like Dateko Tech or Fukurodani. I will not claim to be 'living the thug life' and I will not respond to every question with finger guns.

This was inappropriate on so many levels according to various teachers who I have responded to with finger guns because I am hip. This was also not okay.

So I'll delete any memes from my phone and apologize to my teammates and give them any profits I have gathered from my illegal dealings. I will be suspended from Dateko Tech until further notice and I am to never try and sell Bokuto memes again.

I have shamed my family, myself and my school. I'll apologize and relocate my meme business to the underground school network. Which is most definitely _not_ composed of school janitors. I mean, where would I even make those kinds of contacts? Ha ha ha. Ha. Ha.

Takeda-sensei has caught me trying to skip the most horrible part of my punishment: I will not be allowed to use finger guns on school grounds ever again.

I guess that today I learned that I am, as the kids say, '2 kool fo skool'. I'm just so rad, yo. MC(Name) out.

*finger guns*

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN: *** finger guns *****


	22. Chapter 22

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Hiding school property

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not replace the Karasuno volleyball team's uniforms with "Specialized Holiday Season Special Edition!" uniforms I found on the internet. I did not buy the uniforms with club money that I would have had to steal from Kiyoko-san. I have never done that. Except for that one time but never since. That you know of. Actually, I probably shouldn't have written that. How do you erase these words? The…eraser… is broken... well this isn't turning out well. Can I get a new referral form, please? No? No. Very well, I will have my vengeance on you, Takeda-Sensei.

Ah, right. Referral form. Anyway, replacing the team's uniforms with my own "atrocities" was 'childish', 'immature' and 'Waaahhh! So cool (Name)-Senpai! Kageyama, look what (Name)-senpai has!'. Karasuno's boys' volleyball team is gaining recognition from other schools and _apparently_ we do not need elf uniforms with jangly shoes that 'spread festive fun and cheer'.

I will not buy these costumes and hide the regular ones in a location I will not specify should this fall into the wrong hands. I will not refuse to speak of the hiding place. I will not tell the vice principal that "the uniforms are safe now. Safe where no one can find them." I am not a super-secret spy and should not act as such.

But that is a referral for another day.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Hi guys! It has been a long time, huh? Sorry about that. The dog got her leg amputated and everything's been kind of muddled. Anywho, here's your Christmas season update; I figured that late's better than never, right?

I'm so good at deadlines. Praise me. No. That was sarcasm. Okkay, write soon! I mean that I will write soon. I really should just hit the backspace, but I will not. It is true, friends. I have no idea what I am doing. Bye.


	23. Chapter 23

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Harassing Iwaizumi Hajime of Aoba Johsai

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not ruin a perfectly healthy volleyball scrimmage with Aoba Johsai by insulting Iwaizumi Hajime. I was actually trying to compliment him, but I guess my words came out wrong? Apparently, I am actually unable to make kind remarks.

"You are a demonic hamster" Is not what I am supposed to say to anyone, according to Suga. So, I will not liken Iwaizumi to a Zhu Zhu pet as that is wrong and rude. I would have said he was like a Furby – a dangerous foe, but I have a really bad appreciation for puns, and Iwaizumi sounded close enough to IwaiZhu Zhu in my mind…. but yeah, that actually is a stretch now that I think about it.

I am actually ashamed.

I will apologize to Iwaizumi and try to explain myself. I wonder if I can make a copy of this and mail it to him. That's explaining, right? Eh, close enough. As a final promise to myself, Takeda sensei and whoever else reads this referral form, know this:

I will never compliment another person on Seijoh's team ever again, so help me God.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** I am soooooooo sorry for the lapse between updates. Life, bruh. Life.

Still, thank you for reading this far and putting up with all the nonsense I barf onto the page. Hopefully it made you laugh. Or at least smile.

Smile! Warm up your cold, dead hearts.

Okay, I'm done.


	24. Chapter 24

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Excessive use of YouTube

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not bring my handy dandy phone to a match between Karasuno and Shiratorizawa and use it during matches. More accurately, I will not have the "Get Your Head in the Game" song from High School Musical on a loop, ready to assault the ears of any and every person in the gymnasium. As I am true to my word, I did not use the gym's speakers to play the music. No, I used an app. The YouTube app.

When Karasuno's team loses a point or I feel that I've waited long enough (the time between musical bursts should never be longer than a minute. A minute and a half if you _really_ want to push it), I will not blast the music while aggressively dancing along.

Memorizing the moves to the song is not a good use of my time, according to several sources who shall remain unnamed. I would hate to bring Daichi, Tsukishima, Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai into this. I would _never_ do such a thing.

But, as much as I hate to admit it, they probably are right. I do not need to loop "Get Your Head in the Game" on YouTube.

There's an app for that.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** At this point, I don't even know what I'm doing. I mean, I started out vaguely having no idea what I was doing, and it turns out that I have forgotten what the rest of my sentence was going to be.

My creative juices are low at the moment. I need more episodes. Or ideas. Anything you guys would like to see me **destroy** , excuse me, _write_ about, let me know.

*finger guns*


	25. Chapter 25

) **Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Incorrect definition of my job

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not take my job seriously. Ha, if only I could describe Coach Ukai's face when I said that. Definite meme material. But I'm getting off track.

Ahem.

I will not redefine my role as the Karasuno Volleyball Team's Talent Scout, or whatever my title is. I probably should have read the application rather than treating it like one of those user agreement thingies. It was good of me to decide on evaluating the reflexes of each team member so as to get a better understanding of their talents. What I did wrong, Takeda-sensei informs me, was how I carried it out.

Rather than using practice time to chart the 'reflexive maneuvers', I will not decide to use the element of surprise and take to randomly pelting team members with volleyballs throughout their day. That is not professional, as it made Hinata scream and Asahi cry. I will definitely not aim for the back of their heads, even though they should have a 360-degree field of awareness at any time.

I completely disregarded school rules, which apparently are all in a school handbook I did not know we had. I also threw volleyballs in crowded hallways, classrooms, the lunchroom, and just about anywhere I could be. So I abused my power, "endangered" my classmates and teammates, and disrupted the learning that was supposedly going on.

My teachers have given me extra coursework for missing class time as well as extra projects and a few detentions. I have learned many lessons today.

The most important being: they suck at deflecting balls thrown at the back of their heads.

We'll work on that.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Hey hey! Sorry for the wait, I hit a creative wall. I need more episodes to watch.

Anywho, thank you jojo2594, for reminding me that people actually read these things and would like updates.

I got a longer referral on the way, one of the story ones.

Stay tuned, dear listeners, as next referral, we all learn how you are _still_ the Karasuno High School Volleyball Scout.

Because I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm probably doing it really well.


	26. Chapter 26

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Damage to personal property

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not meticulously plot against Karasuno's vice-principal and his toupee. I will not take advantage of the fact that the vice-principal sticks to his routine meticulously; I will not follow him through the course of a month and write down every time he looks in a mirror. I will not then take his current staff picture and crop it so only the toupee is left. I will not resize the toupee picture to the actual size and paste them to mirrors throughout the school.

…y'know what? Let me back up a bit. Just for the poor soul who has to read this and has no idea what's going on. You guys do read this right? Because I'm pretty sure this is comedic gold.

So the VP's toupee is ugly and he has really bad eyesight, right? Right. So I will not take advantage of that fact. I will not buy suspicious hairspray off of the Internet and lay in wait. I will not spray the vice-principal's toupee bright green without his knowledge. I will not let him walk away with bright green fake hair. I will not have placed the cropped toupee picture in, well, everywhere he walks on his rounds that he may look into a mirror and see his reflection.

I will not then try to hide the evidence of my crime in Nishinoya Yuu's bag. That was very immature and probably illegal somewhere. I will not try to claim innocence when the vice-principal confronts me, even though my hands are clearly green from the leaky hairspray bottle.

I will buy Noya a new bag and pay for the new schoolbooks that need to be bought (much to Noya's satisfaction) and I will remove the toupee pictures and clean the bathrooms for a month. I will also lose all computer privileges while I'm on the school campus and I will not be allowed to low-key stalk the vice principal ever again.

Ugh, fine, Takeda-sensei.

I will also not bring the green hairspray to the school campus again.

(Next time it'll be purple)

okay, sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, please don't give me anymore homework.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Long time no see! I am soooooo sorry for the super stupid long wait. I've been working on a super long chapter, which I should be done with in a few days. Fine tuning and all that jazz. I peeled away from it to write this up quickly, so I'm not sure it's up to par with the other chapters.

Aw, who am I kidding? This entire thing is garbage. And. I. love. it.

Thank you for all of your encouraging reviews! I'm working super hard to do right by you guys!

Also, I know you guys have noticed that the updates that I (generally) try to keep coming consistently have been...not so consistent. And that's my bad. I own up to that. School is ramping up the whole college thing, and so I'm trying to keep my grades afloat with all the other stuff going on, so updates haven't been at the front of my mind. I mean, it's still there, just next to the reminder to take out the garbage later.

But more will come! Honestly, I was planing to do, say 25 of these referrals before calling it good, but since you guys have shown so much excitement and I love to write these things, I'm still going to keep going. So stick with me a little longer, 'kay? And by little longer, I mean until like Ch50, then I'll see if you guys are still interested.

And 'cause I'm a horrible person, I'm going to give you some...previews... to the next chapter. I'm taking little things throughout the beginning of the story to give you a nice preview without ruining everything.

Enter your mind-theaters and grab some popcorn, kids! I'm on a roll.

 **Next time on "I Will Not"...**

* * *

"Suga-san!" Hinata greeted cheerfully.

"Afternoon Hinata!" Sugawara grinned in response to his eager underclassman.

"I had a question to ask (Name-san). Actually, Suga-san do you know?"

Suga smiled quizzically. "If I knew the question, then maybe."

"Do you know how (Name-san) is still the scout?"

Suga's face morphed into a blank mask. "Hinata, we don't talk about that. Drop it, okay?"

Hinata blinked, staring at Suga. It almost looked like, for a moment, Suga was…scared? But was that right?

* * *

I don't want to muddle this up so I'll stop there. I'll leave your imaginations to it.

As always, reviews are appreciated! I'd love to know what you think!


	27. How (Name)-san Became Part of the Team

**AN:** This is the first time I have put an author's note before the chapter. Progress. Soon I shall be the ultimate annoying author.

Fair warning: This is by far the longest chapter there is. I've been working really hard on this, which is why I haven't updated for a while. I thought it was going to take a little longer to fine-tune it, but it was okay when I checked, so it's probably riddled with mistakes I missed. Oh well.

I thought it would be interesting to write about how (Name) became, and still is, the team's scout. I will admit the ending is a little rushed as I was quickly approaching the 9th page on Word, and I decided to wrap it up. Hopefully it's not too bad. Who knows? I'm biased, so my opinion-that this entire thing is trash- doesn't count.

I love my trash story.

This is long, so for those of you who read this during a class, read at your own risk. I am not liable if your teacher catches you.

That is all.

* * *

Hinata peered around the corner of the staircase and spotted (Name) leaning against the wall, examining some papers in her hands. Keeping his eyes on her, Hinata tried to slip past the stairwell without her noticing.

"Avoiding me?"

"Wahh! (Name-san)!" Hinata yelped, jumping back as the upperclassman stepped in front of him. (Name) quirked an eyebrow, smiling deviously.

"Are you … going to throw a ball at me?" Hinata leaned back, trying to see behind (Name's) back.

"Nah, that was a few weeks ago."

"But you threw one at me yesterday…"

(Name) leveled her gaze at the bright orange child. "And now you are aware of your surroundings, yes?"

Hinata nodded quickly.

Laughing, (Name) patted him on the back. "Volleyball's more than a game; you gotta be totally alert if you're gonna battle on the court. You wanna beat the Little Giant, right?"

"Right!" Hinata's eyes sparkled "I'm gonna be as great as him and play in the Nationals!" Punching his fist in the air, Hinata danced excitedly.

(Name's) eyes flicked to her phone. "You're gonna be late to practice if you don't hurry."

"ACk! I can't let Kageyama beat me to the gym!" Hinata declared before racing off. (Name) laughed quietly to herself. Fun kid.

… Now to deal with these papers.

* * *

Hinata bolted into the gym, out of breath. Looking up, he frantically searched, and darn! Kageyama was already practicing.

"I'll beat you here one of these days, Kageyama." Hinata muttered under his breath.

"Oh, Hinata! I was wondering where you were." A warm voice reached Hinata's ears. Sugawara approached him, smiling widely.

"Suga-san!" Hinata greeted cheerfully.

"Afternoon Hinata!" Sugawara grinned in response to his eager underclassman. "What kept you? Daichi wanted you and Kageyama to practice a new routine Yaichi and Kiyoko-san planned out." Suga tilted his head. "Where did he go? He said he'd be right here…"

"Huh? Oh, I was talking to (Name-san) and I guess I lost track of time." Hinata rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

A crease appeared between Suga's eyebrows. "Did she throw another ball at you?"

Forcefully shaking his head, Hinata backtracked. "I meant, I was talking to her after she spotted me causeIwastryingtosneakpasther…."

"Calm down, Hinata." Suga placated. "I was just asking. She means well, but she can get a little…intense."

"But she's good at doing her job, that's what matters." Ennoshita commented as he walked past.

Suga nodded cheerfully. "Right!"

"OH!" Hinata started. "I forgot!"

Suga smiled quizzically. "Forgot? Is this about homework?"

Hinata shook his head. "No, I had a question to ask (Name-san). Actually, Suga-san do you know?"

"If I knew the question, then maybe."

Hinata reddened. "Er, ah do you know how (Name-san) is still the scout? I mean, she gets in all kinds of trouble and…." Hinata trailed off upon seeing Suga's blank expression. It almost looked for a moment, like Suga was…scared?

"Hinata, we don't talk about that. Drop it, okay?" Suga advised, but his attention had moved elsewhere.

Cocking his head, Hinata watched Suga as he turned away to scold Tanaka for stripping. Again. Maybe he'd ask again after practice.

 _Time skip brought to you by Yamaguchi's tiny ahoge_

"Alright! That's all for today, guys!" Daichi's voice thundered loudly, piercing the excited atmosphere in the gym. Giving instructions, Daichi supervised the team as they began cleaning up and heading out to the locker rooms.

"Calling it early today?" (Name) popped up next to Daichi out of nowhere.

"Ah, yeah." Daichi rubbed the back of his head. "Some big tests are coming up for all of us, so we're ending practice a little earlier to give time to study."

"How wise." (Name) commented dryly. "I got the scoop on Fukurodani's new play that you asked for. I'll write it up and give it to you tomorrow."

"You almost sound like a real scout, (Name)." Daichi laughed as he began moving towards the locker rooms. "You didn't do anything…"

"Unseemly?"

"Yeah. Nothing unseemly, right?"

"Right, right. I was good. A perfect lady."

"I don't know if that's a description that can be applied to you."

"Hey!" (Name) pushed Daichi playfully. "Well, I'll get going now. Let you get changed and all that. Besides, gotta study for these tests."

Nodding, Daichi stepped inside the locker room, leaving (Name) to find her own way home. As the door closed, Daichi was pulled by his shirt into the room.

Suga peered out the small window next to the door, making sure the coast was clear.

"Suga!?" Daichi exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"We have a problem." Suga turned to look at his friend. "Hinata was asking how (Name) is still the team's scout."

"Oh." Daichi's features settled into a blank mask as he recalled (Name's) vengeance. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

An uncomfortable silence settled over the two as their minds worked furiously to come up with a solution.

"I guess," Suga ventured "we could just tell him…"

"Do we really want to do that?" Daichi mused "It's better than lying, but…"

"Yeah."

…

….

"Suga-san?" Hinata's muffled voice reached through the door. "Are you in there?"

Taking a deep breath, Suga opened the door and bravely faced the adorable ball of sunshine.

"What are you doing in there?" Hinata peered around Suga's frame. "Hi, Daichi-san!"

"We were talking about (Name)." Daichi responded to Hinata's query. "You were asking about how she became a scout, right?"

"Uh-huh! I thought you'd know since you were here before her!" Hinata grinned as he spoke, clearly happy to learn more about the history of Karasuno's volleyball team, and by extension, their scout.

"So you still want to know." Daichi nodded sagely. Suga was staring at him hard enough to bore holes through his head; Daichi figured that if he sounded like he knew what he was doing, he wouldn't need to fear Suga's laser-beams drilling all the way through his brain.

"Yup!"

Sighing, Suga gave up trying to fry Daichi's brain and sat on the floor. "All right. Well, it began when she first turned in her application for the team's scout last year….

 _Flashback brought to you by Suga's smile_

BAM! The door to the gym slammed against the wall as the small figure heaved it open.

"I'm here!"

Daichi, Suga and the other Karasuno volleyball players looked up surprised. The girl marched inside, quite pleased with herself.

Firmly planting herself in front of the team, she brazenly called out, "Who's the captain?"

Hidemi Tashiro, the captain at the time, stepped forward. "Who are you?"

"I'm (Name!) I'm your scout!"

Blinking, Hidemi accepted the papers (Name) thrust into his face.

"I look forward to working with you!"

 _Flashback interrupted by Hinata_

"So that's it?" Hinata broke in. "She's been scout ever since?"

"Well…." Suga trailed off, trying to figure out how to explain (Name's) role.

"She was for a while." Daichi stepped in. "Until she went too far."

"Eh?" Hinata turned toward Daichi, ready to listen.

 _Flashback brought to you by Dead-chi_

"Arg! Suga do you have a pen?" Daichi threw his pen into the trashcan next to his desk.

"You wouldn't be so stressed if you did your homework last night instead of cramming it in this morning." Suga commented as he passed Daichi his pen.

"I _tried_ but someone replaced the ink with invisible ink."

"At your house?"

"Are you really surprised?"

(Name) had been scouting for a few months, and while her reports were good, her pranks got a little out of hand. Replacing the air in the volleyballs with helium to "see how high they'd go", moving all the desks in the classrooms an inch to the right, replacing cafeteria utensils with spoons, etc. It was around this time that she began moving her tricks inside the houses of her teammates. She hadn't been caught, but it was rather obvious who had done it.

Suga sighed, "Someone's going to have to talk to her. One day she'll go too far and get in serious trouble."

"Why hasn't she gotten in trouble yet?" Daichi sat back, thinking it over.

"I think her family's rich? And they give lots of money to the school. At least, that's what I heard." Suga shrugged.

 **BZZZZZ**

The bell rang, signifying that it was time to go to class. Moving quickly, Suga gathered up his and Daichi's things as Daichi began to scrawl down answers to his work.

"I've got your bag." Suga called over his shoulder. "See you in class!"

"Mm." Daichi responded to show he'd heard.

….

"Daichi?"

"Mm?" Daichi uttered

"Daichi, I can't get the door open."

"Hm."

"Daichi!"

"What?" Daichi looked up, hearing the rise in Suga's voice. Suga was pulling on the door, but it wasn't budging.

"Help me!"

Daichi moved towards the door, and pulled on the handle with Suga. But the door didn't move.

"Hey!" Daichi yelled, pounding on the door. "Hey! Can anyone hear me?"

"Everyone's supposed to be in class, right?" Suga asked

"Yeah, but the bell rang."

Pressing his ear to the door, Suga listened for any sign of life in the hallway. "I don't hear anyone."

"Did (Name) do this?" Daichi thundered

"I don't know. I don't think so; even she wouldn't go that far, would she?"

The two looked at each other for a moment before turning to call for help and bang on the door.

 _Flashback interrupted again by Hinata_

"Uuahh!" Hinata yelped. "Were you okay?"

Suga stared at him for a moment. "We're still here, aren't we?"

"Did (Name) lock you in?"

"Daichi hasn't gotten that far." Suga tried to explain.

Daichi cleared his throat and opened his mouth to continue.

"Oi, Hinata!" Kageyama called through the door, "I know you're in there."

Pushing the door open, Kageyama appeared scowling. "Why are you here so late? Oh!" He exclaimed, seeing Daichi and Suga too. "Uh, sorry. I'll go-"

"Kageyama-kun! Daichi-san and Suga-san are telling me how (Name)-san is still the team's scout!" Hinata jumped in, eager to share his news.

"Really?" Kageyama perked up.

"Yeah! You can listen too! Right, Suga-san?" Hinata turned to Suga hopefully.

"Sure." Suga nodded. "Sit down and I'll fill you in real quickly.

 _Flashback resumed upon Daichi's scowl_

It took a few hours for help to arrive; someone had gotten out from one of the windows on the first floor and gone to get help. Daichi and Suga were rescued by a really old janitor who smelled of onions.

"Yer class's out 'n the lawn." He muttered before moving down to the next door.

"What happened?" Suga asked the old man

"Dunno. Some squirt put gunk 'round the frames."

Suga glanced at Daichi before turning to leave. "Let's…go."

Nodding, Daichi and Suga made the uneventful trip out to one of the fields where they reunited with their class.

 _Flashback interrupted by Kageyama_

"(Name) did that?" Kageyama questioned.

Scowling, Daichi rubbed his face with his hands.

Laughing nervously, Suga took over. "Maybe it'll be easier just to summarize. Basically," he turned toward the two first years, "(Name)-san wanted to see how much of sticky things would make doors stick. Marshmallows, gum, glue, things like that. I don't think she meant any harm, but since the firefighters got called in to break down a few doors, she got in a lot of trouble."

"So now she draws the line when it comes to something that the authorities could get called in for." Daichi waved his hand dismissively.

"Then what?" Kageyama asked.

"She lost her official role as the team's scout." Suga answered

"She stayed that way?" Hinata cocked his head, thinking. "But she's official again, right? Or she wouldn't go to training camps with us? Or...?"

"No, she's the official scout." Daichi clarified. "She got the title back after the Plague."

"Plague…?" Kageyama's brows drew together. "I didn't know there was a plague in Japan."

"It's what some of the third-years then named it." Suga explained. "There wasn't an actual plague, but, see, (Name) decided she was still the scout, official or otherwise, so she continued to, well, scout, but there was a period of time, when the old Coach Ukai was training the team, that only people in official roles could do the jobs that were official…" Suga trailed off, trying to think of how to phrase his next words.

"(Name) decided that the administration needed to give her her position back, so the Plague began." Daichi picked up where Suga had left off. "The school was basically under siege of pranks, some harmless but annoying, some not so harmless. Everyone knew it was (Name)'s doing, but since no one could prove it, she got away with it."

"Wait, but (Name) gets caught all the time." Hinata interrupted.

"She lets people catch her." Suga replied.

"She lets them?"

Suga shrugged, "I guess she likes the thrill of it?"

"It's a mystery." Daichi supplied

"Right." Suga nodded

"Anyway," Daichi continued, "it got to the point that the administration was pretty much never safe; the pranks were everywhere but they weren't really obvious until someone tripped them. No one was really safe, like I said. After, like, a month? Yeah, about a month, the vice-principal announced that (Name) would get her position back if the pranks would just stop. And they did for a while."

"Wouldn't that make it obvious (Name) was the culprit?" Hinata asked

"You'd think so," Suga began, "but they never actually stopped. Other students tried pranking people about that time, staff and students alike, and some got caught. (Name) was one of them. And there never was anything that could be used as solid proof against her."

"Actually," Suga stopped for a moment. "That would actually explain why she gets caught."

"Huh?" Hinata and Kageyama leaned toward Suga eagerly.

"It's possible that (Name) let's herself get caught for small demeanors so no one can say the pranks stopped after she got what she wanted…"

Catching on to Suga's drift, Daichi continued Suga's thought "It's actually kind of genius."

"So (Name)-senpai annoyed everyone enough that she got her job back?" Hinata asked.

"That's what Suga-san and Daichi-san just told us, dummy!" Kageyama growled, smacking Hinata upside the head.

"Who're you calling dumb, Kageyama! I got a higher score in math!"

"By two points!"

"If I recall correctly," Suga leaned toward Daichi, "they both failed that class."

"Karasuno's victory relies on these two idiots." Daichi groaned.

Smiling uneasily, Suga turned to leave as Daichi began berating the two first years. "I'll be going then."

Stepping out into the dark, Suga closed the door and turned around.

"Aauh!"

(Name)'s grinning face was next to Suga's. "Having fun?"

"(Name)! Don't sneak up on me like that! Wait, why are you outside the changing rooms?"

(Name) stepped back pouting, but the pout quickly morphed into another Cheshire grin. "I realized I left something so I came back to get it."

Suga crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "In the boy's changing rooms?"

"Yes?"

A quick stare down commenced with Suga as the victor thanks to his patented MomScowl™. Throwing up her hands, (Name) answered, "Ugh, fine. I was trying to plant sweet potatoes in Yamaguchi's locker."

"I thought you said you'd stop doing that?"

"I did. Those were yams, these are sweet potatoes. They look the same-ish, so I can still do it."

Sighing, Suga shook his head. "What is it with you and yams?"

(Name) threw her arms out in exasperation "Yamaguchi! _Yam_ aguchi! How can you leave that alone? It's just begging for my attention."

"You've already recognized it, so leave Yamaguchi alone, okay?" Suga tried to protect the poor first year from (Name's) sense of humor.

Scuffing her foot against the floor, (Name) muttered "I just really liked that one."

"I know, but go home."

Shaking her head, (Name) grinned unabashed, "Fine, fine. I'll see you tomorrow, Suga-san!" And off she went into the darkness.

Heaving another sigh, Suga turned as he heard the door to the locker room open. Daichi emerged with two sullen first years.

"Was someone out here?" He asked Suga, looking for another person. "I thought I heard voices."

"Nah," Suga shook his head, "I was just talking to myself."

"Hm. Well, let's all get home. We've certainly been here long enough." Daichi moved past his teammates and headed out of the school. "C'mon, Suga!"

"Will you two be okay if we leave now?" Suga asked Hinata and Kageyama.

"Uh-huh!" Hinata nodded

"It's Hinata-boke you should worry about." Kageyama said with a straight face before getting punched by Hinata.

"Well, okay. Get home." Suga said, ignoring the mini-brawl the two had resumed. He turned and followed Daichi.

Kageyama and Hinata tried to fight, but the day had been long, and they were both tired. Picking themselves up, they gathered their fallen bags and walked past the gym to go home.

As they were passing the main doors to the school, Hinata's eye was caught by some papers he almost stepped on.

"Hey, is this…?" Stopping, Hinata crouched down next to the beaten paper.

"What are you looking at now, stupid Hinata?" Kageyama grumpily asked the orange child.

"Papers. They look familiar…" Hinata's forehead scrunched together as he tried to recall where he had seen them.

"All paper looks the same." Kageyama huffed. "Let's go."

Reluctantly, Hinata stood up and started walking towards Kageyama. The two made it as far as the school gates.

"UUAAAWHHHHH!" Hinata's exclamation nearly deafened Kageyama.

"What're you doing you dumb-"Kageyama's insult was put aside as he began chasing Hinata who was racing back to the papers.

"Don't run from me while I'm yelling at you!" Kageyama yelled.

"I know where I saw the papers!" Hinata gave a small yelp. "Here they are!"

"So?" Kageyama peered at the papers.

"(Name)-senpai was holding them earlier today!" Hinata explained. "She looked like she was thinking _really_ hard about it."

"How do you know they're hers?" Kageyama looked around for anyone who could have dropped the papers without knowing.

"The volleyball!"

Kageyama's search was quickly ended when he heard the word. "Volleyball?"

Sure enough, there was a watermark in the shape of a volleyball. (Name) had ordered them for "official volleyball business", but the theory was that she just thought they were cute and splurged.

Kageyama's curiosity had been peaked, "What does it say?"

"Umm…" Hinata turned the papers over so he could see the words. " **Always**."

"What?" Kageyama peered over Hinata's spiky hair. "It's just one word. Give me that."

Yanking the papers out of Hinata's hands and ignoring the protest, Kageyama studied the word. He flipped the page to see the second one.

 **Stay.**

Another turned page.

 **Alert.**

"What?" The two looked at each other in confusion as they were suddenly hit by two volleyballs thrown rather hard, if they'd been asked later.

"Hahahaaa!" A familiar cackle rang out.

"(Name)-san?!" Hinata turned around, rubbing the back of his head, bewildered. (Name) grinned at the two first years.

"Stay alert!"

"You're insane!"

Yelping, Hinata and Kageyama ran towards the gate, occasionally being pelted by a volleyball thrown by the maniacal second year.

"I am doing. My. Job!"

The lights in front of the main doors turned on and the vice principal threw open the doors. "Who's making a racket out here! Why are there volleyballs….(NAME)!"

"Aw crap."


	28. Chapter 28

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Wrongful Claims

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not post flyers around the school announcing that Sawamura Daichi is dead and will now be referred to as Deadchi. I will not tell people that he has fallen and will that "life as we know it will never be the same". I scared many people, including Hinata Shoyo. I will not plant the belief that Deadchi is dead in his mind so when Deadchi comes to confront me Hinata screams. I will not laugh then as that is not appropriate.

After getting a stern lecture from Deadchi and getting sent here, to detention, I will remove all the flyers I posted and hand write an apology to everyone in the school, telling them that Deadchi is not dead and I am no longer to be believed. I will have a week of detention, apologize to Deadchi, and we will all move on from this incident.

I have learned many things through this adventure. Namely: duct tape is the best material for hanging flyers and that Hinata is really easy to convince. That is all.

R.I.P Deadchi

May he always live on in our hearts.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** I just...really like the Deadchi meme...


	29. Chapter 29

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Throwing food

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not harass Tetsuro Kuroo when I am visiting Nekoma on volleyball business. I will not try to sneak up on him at various points when he is unaware and throw handfuls of cinnamon sugar at him. I will not do this because I am a scout for the Karasuno Volleyball Team and that is official and therefore reflects on the school.

When I am caught, I will not claim ignorance when asked why I threw cinnamon at Kuroo. I will not say that I "threw nothing but sinnamon" at him then laugh. I am not funny. When asked to explain myself, I will not claim to be the incarnation of a famous spice-thrower who was known to throw things at people as that is not a position ever created in history.

Little did the peons know that I was making a masterpiece, something that would shock the world forever. I was molding the first ever KurooChurro; it would go down in history. I will coat the 'charred churro' with sinnamon and create a trashy masterpiece. It would be beautiful. If only I hadn't been caught.

I will apologize to Kuroo and will not be allowed near school kitchens ever again. I will have detention for a week and will apologize to Nekoma's team for probably getting sinnamon in their eyes or hair at some point or another.

I deeply regret my actions, won't do it again… I think we know the drill.

What really gets me is the whole churro part.

I mean, it _rhymes_.

And it is beautiful. God bless the KurooChuroo.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** Okay, I see a few of you going "what." It's okay. I am here to explain.

Ahem.

It was a while ago; my friend and I kind of went overboard in a flash of inspiration and we created a masterpiece: the KurooChurro. It's actually hanging in my room as we speak. It is also the cover for _I Will Not._

My friend(a different one) suggested that I should write this up as an explanation. Cheers to you, Sugamama. You know who you are.


	30. Chapter 30

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Hijacking the school's printer; inappropriate use of position…so many things to put here.

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not hijack the school's printer to print official-looking documents for me whenever I want. I will not do this and print up documents for the volleyball team telling them about the new match uniforms which changed due to reasons beyond their control. I will not do this before an important match against Aoba Johsai. I will not do this and let the team actually walk out onto the court.

More specifically, I will not allow them to actually walk onto the court wearing their uniform tops and spandex shorts. That was not okay. I will also not videotape this as it happens or try to sell copies for ten dollars. What? I'm a woman. And they have very nice thighs. Amazing thighs.

I will not do this as it is a blatant misuse of my powers and position of authority. I will be banned from the printers and my computer will be blocked from the school's mainframe. I will apologize to both teams for my actions that may or may not have caused a riot amongst some of the ladies. I will also no longer be allowed to access sites like Amazon or E-bay from my computer.

In my defense, it is a crime to hide the team's thighs with those stupid shorts. I mean, the "extra mobility" is nice too, but that kind of comes second. It's all about the thighs, man.

Viva la thigh revolution.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** This chapter was inspired by my sister, who read one of my previous drabbles and said, I quote, "This is stupid".

Thank you.

She came back into my room not even a minute later and said, "Uniforms."

I've done some uniform changes, but she was talking about, yes, spandex shorts. She made me look it up on Google before telling me to delete my browser history. So I actually did research for this, guys.

So thank you, beloved little sister, for your idea. I highly doubt you will read this.


	31. Chapter 31

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Tampering with school equipment

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not tamper with the Karasuno High School's Boy's Volleyball's Libero's knee pads. I will not switch out Nishinoya Yuu's backup knee pads with my 'enhanced' ones without telling anyone. I will not have enhanced knee pads with springs, powerful or otherwise. I will not wait until a practice match with Fukurodani to switch the knee pads. During the match, I will not laugh at the consequences of my actions. I will not find it funny when Nishinoya goes flying while trying save the ball with a dive.

This was not appropriate for a person of my standing or age as I am no longer a preschooler. I should not be tampering with equipment, as not only is that not part of my job, but I tend to make accidents. Plus, the spring-loaded knee pads would have us disqualified in an actual meet.

On the bright side, Nishinoya thought it was super cool. On the other hand, so did Bokuto, which excited him and had to be calmed. Akaashi is suffering. Someone should save him.

As I did kind of throw the match with my stunt, I will apologize to both Karasuno's and Fukurodani's volleyball teams, dispose of the enhanced knee pads, and will not be allowed near the team equipment in the near future.

I have obviously learned my lesson, as I am remorse over my actions.

Obviously.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** I know, I know, it's been a while. I'm kind of in a weird state of mind; I want to write, but I can't think of any awesome ideas and I don't want to disappoint you guys with a crappy chapter. Then I remembered I had other people's ideas I can use. So there's a few I can still write at the moment.

Ugh, I need more episodes to fuel my inspiration.

Anyway, props to my sister, who suggested bouncy knee pads, or whatever it was she said.

Thanks for the great reviews, as always. Those hover over my shoulder until I give in and spew stuff on a page and eventually find a semi-plausible idea. Good job guys.


	32. Chapter 32

Name: (Name)

Class: 2-3

Reason for Referral: Preparing teammates' funerals

Description of Actions and Statement of Apology: I will not prepare for the upcoming 3rd year graduation of Sugawara, Daichi and Asahi by contacting my local gravestone guy (yeah, I've got a guy) and purchasing headstones for the inevitable death in front of them. Graduation. Every team's worst nightmare as the beast rips away their loved ones into the inky maw of adulthood.

I will not use team funds for this because that is stealing, and not beneficial to the team. I will not be allowed to attend practice in mourning clothes and act like one of those bereaved aunts on the soap operas that I may or may not watch in my free time because I'm not an old lady.

I will not order said headstones to be delivered behind the gym so I can start a high school volleyball graveyard because that is morbid and we can't have dead bodies buried on campus. Or just the headstones, because no one is actually dying.

I will apologize to the 3rd years for the headstones and the service I had scheduled for next Thursday, which I will probably have to cancel. I will reimburse the team for the cost of the headstones and am not allowed to suggest graduation is death or whatever ever again. There will also never be a graveyard on (any) school grounds, so apparently that is out too.

Actually, I should probably talk to my headstone guy about canceling the headstones I ordered for the other teams' 3rd years…

Eh. I wasn't told not to.

Student Signature: (Name)

Advisor Signature: Takeda-Sensei

* * *

 **AN:** I knoooowwwww. I had a very long break.

I ran out of ideas, had writer's block, blah blah. Truth is, I didn't know if anyone was still super interested in this trash story, so I kind of waited to see if anyone said anything. According to recent notifications, I should probably write some more for the five(?) of you who are following for more chapters. Supposedly.

So here's your chapter 32, hope you like it.


	33. Chapter 33

**Karasuno High School Referral Form**

 **Name:** (Name)

 **Class:** 2-3

 **Reason for Referral:** Building a religion around Akaashi

 **Description of Actions and Statement of Apology:** I will not create a religion praising Lord Akaashi and his virtues of patience and durability. I will not try to convert members of the volleyball teams into followers of Akaashi.

My bad.

 **Student Signature:** (Name)

 **Advisor Signature:**

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 **Karasuno High School Referral Form**

 **Name:** (Name)

 **Class:** 2-3

 **Reason for Referral:** Building a religion around Akaashi and trying to skip filling out my referral form.

 **Description of Actions and Statement of Apology:** I will not create a religion praising Lord Akaashi and his virtues of patience and durability. I will not try to convert members of the volleyball teams into followers of Akaashi. Allow me to explain myself, as I don't want to fill out another form.

I will not attempt to apologize to Akaashi for exciting Bokuto again and again with my adventures by creating a religion praising his efforts. I will not try to convert members of the Karasuno volleyball team and other volleyball teams – namely Fukurodani and Nekoma – to my new religion by exciting Hinata, who is loved by many, and unleashing him into the streets to praise Akaashi. The fact that the…club… grew so quickly, thanks to Bokuto and Kuroo forcing their teammates to join and Hinata badgering the other first years to at least fake join, should not have encouraged me to lead a chant during one of the Fukurodani/Nekoma matches. I acknowledge that chanting "Praise Akaashi" with many members of both teams and some of the crowd may seem a little cultish, but it was very heartening to hear so many people praising Akaashi. Kind of ironic, but the most excited was Bokuto. Who had to then be calmed by Akaashi. Classic Lord Akaashi.

So, I have since been banned from creating any clubs or religions in or out of school, cause that is apparently not a positive thing. Also, Akaashi was questioned by the principal about the rising of his religion, but was cleared of all suspicion. I don't think he's too pleased with me at the moment. But he did tell me not to worry about apologizing to him again. Which begs the question of if he's upset or not. I mean, this whole thing happened because I was trying to apologize for … oh. Okay, I will now let Suga or Daichi apologize to him for me now. It's fine. I think. Let's go with yes. And just to note, the religion of Akaashi has been shut down by various teachers and Daichi. So that's that.

And I will not try to shirk my explanations in these referral forms even though they are long and I don't want to write a lot 'cause my hand hurts.

 **Student Signature:** (Name), faithful disciple of Lord Akaashi

 **Advisor Signature:** Takeda-sensei

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 **AN:** I knoooooow. I need to update more, I'm just swamped with school, work, the whole nine yards. But I have been listening to your reviews, and it makes me feel good. And guilty. So from what I understand, you are all in favor of me continuing. Nice. I'll do my best to update at least once a month.

My friends brainstormed to give me ideas, and so I'm looking at the sticky note with ideas, and I might have misread this prompt. I misread it. Prank Akaashi. Not Praise.

...

I stand by my mistake.

Love you guys and thanks for the feedback! It gives me that extra shove I need to get off my bed and write a chapter. 'Cause I'm lazy


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